Updated: 12/05/2017 – I’m Oli and I’ve not masturbated or watched adult material in one year on the 2nd of January 2017 and here’s my exact case study on the whole experience, from where I am now, to my recommendations, my highs and lows and what I’m going to be doing next.
First off I’m not here to paint a beautiful picture, I’m here to be 100% honest.
Second, There’s not really a way I can prove my 100% nofap commitment from the past year, but I hand on heart swear and promise you that it is true.
Third: I go into heavy detail in this article and if you just want the meat without the depth, scroll down to the bottom where there will be a breakdown of this whole article in bite-size format (will be complete in the next day or two).
Fourth, there are no triggers in this and I do my best to eliminate most bad language with *** :), but if there is anything that I think may trigger I’ll to my best to warn you before.
Fifth, I tried NoFap before this and relapsed, that was before I even knew what NoFap was and just used to call it a masturbation detox.
Final thing before we start: I apologize for any spelling and grammatical errors in this article, it’s actually quite funny but I’m Dyslexic and couldn’t even spell “Because” till I was 14, and my girlfriend does all my proofreads and fluff deleting and she’s away right now, so I’ve done my best to clear it up, but if you see anything wrong please let me know and I’ll fix it right away.
So let’s hit this off with a quick before and after, the before was taken back in early 2015 and the after was taken a month ago in Thailand.
When the before picture was taken I was at one of the lowest points in my life, I was eating microwave meals every day, didn’t do any kind of fitness, was scared to leave the house I was in and had no friends…
… Now, the after picture, is there a glow? I have no F***ing idea, but I can tell you one thing, my life the past year has got crazy and without a doubt has been the biggest learning experience so far, but before I go into that let me first tell you…
Table of Contents
- 0.1 Where I’m at Now
- 0.2 So all This From No-Fap?
- 1 The NoFap Super Powers After A Year
- 2 Things That I’ve Added To NoFap That Make It Even More Awesome
- 2.1 Meditation
- 2.2 Ritual Meditation (perfect for beginners and advanced):
- 2.3 My normal meditation:
- 2.4 Mindfulness
- 2.5 Flow
- 2.6 Grounding Activities
- 2.7 Breathing exercises
- 2.8 Bedtime Breathing
- 2.9 Supplement Advice
- 2.10 Yoga
- 2.11 Diet
- 2.12 Dopamine and Seratoning Advice
- 2.13 Fitness
- 2.14 Two Extra Videos:
- 3 How I Didn’t Fap For A Year
- 4 Where I’m At With Urges
- 5 How I Deal With Urges
- 6 The Negative I’ve Found With NoFap (And Why It Doesn’t Matter)
- 7 What You Should Do?
- 8 Love Yourself.
- 9 What If You Still Want To Fap? (Trigger Warning)
- 10 What The Future Of My NoFap Journey Looks Like
- 11 Contributing To This Article:
- 12 Making New Buddies
Why I Started NoFap
Probably the same reason you are or did, I was super awkward, hated leaving my house, even got to a point I had panic attacks and would pep myself up for 40 minutes just to take the garbage outside (I was scared my neighbours might see me).
I also found it SO hard to make friends and be myself, I always put a mask on, and in honesty I hadn’t had a real friend since I was 16, so around 4 years, and looking back my family and my girlfriend were the only people I saw at this point of my life, and if I was lucky I’d see one of my girlfriends friends.
Mix that with being self-employed and enjoying my own company and you have a massive mess.
Now through all this stage I loved and invested a lot of time in self-improvement, I was always training really hard, I worked my butt off and studied the things I enjoyed the most, so it wasn’t all bad, it just wasn’t healthy how anxiety filled I was, and in honesty what hurt me the most is that I knew I could make people laugh and happy, but I just didn’t have the power to go against my anxiety to make it happen.
You could say my whole life whether it was my job, my house, even the way I shopped was built on the basis of staying away from the outside world.
Now to go even deeper and more personal I also had a really high s** drive, I used to masturbate 5 times a day sometimes more and I did this throughout my whole teens, with occasional p**n binges, that just left me feeling guilty and often empty inside.
It was like I couldn’t ever hold the pleasure long enough to be satisfied, now If you want me to go into more detail about this just ask, but for now, I’m going to move onto…
Where I’m at Now
Before I start I just want to say this is all to add to the story not to gloat, there are way bigger and smarter people out there doing way crazier stuff, but this stuff was just a big deal to me because it was unlike anything to happen before.
I have a business (I use this method to make money online) that I love, that’s completely changed its game. I’ve been to Asia twice this year once on a month trip to China, and the other was a 2 week trip around Thailand, two of the luckiest and greatest experiences of my life. Moved to Spain (from the UK) and got an awesome place where I had a film crew come out and film me for a week (never aired but was one of the most challenging, yet amazing experiences of my life). Became a vegan, but that’s a whole other story.
Now I decided to add two gifs from the film crew part of this year:
Funny note: I actually got talked into stripping in a freezing cold sea as a way to end the video, have no idea how this happened and you can see how un-prepared I was but my choice of boxers, I’d of been at least wearing Calvin’s if I had it my way…
I still don’t have too many friends but I find it so easy to connect with people on a deep level, when interacting with someone it’s almost like something else takes over and there’s no awkwardness, when there’s silence I smile and when I’m meeting someone new I couldn’t be happier.
I no longer panic about events that are happening in weeks and I don’t let my mind hold me back, but really the greatest thing I’ve got is a real sense of self. When I’m with people, I am me and not a pretender pretending to be funny and happy, instead I am happy, in fact in my head I honestly believe I’m the luckiest man alive and I truly am.
Really this is just the icing on the cake, but I’ll go into more detail in the benefits section and I’ll touch on some of the hard times too later on in this post…
So all This From No-Fap?
NO, actually I’d say I have no idea how much of it’s from NoFap because I started meditation around the same time (5 months before), while also having a complete diet change to vegan and later down the road adding yoga and breathing exercises…
But does it really matter?
Not one bit because I know all of you have the power to do any of them things, especially meditation once a day, even if it’s just for 3 minutes and I’ve grown to believe that they are all components that help me get to the core of who I am and are all equally life changing, in an almost superhuman kinda way (especially when done by the socially awkward, anxiety filled person).
The NoFap Super Powers After A Year
BIG: Creepy Vibe Be Gone
I think most of you will agree that we all have vibrations and when we met someone we can get a contact high off their personality, example:
When you meet a super awesome person who treats you with respect it leaves you feeling really happy.
When you meet a sad, depressed person they leave you feeling sad, guilty and depressed and it can almost feel like a virus spreading around your brain filled with self-doubt.
Now what NoFap did for me is it helped me get that weird I’m going to masturbate about you later vibe that I’ve come to believe is from p**n and actually masturbating about people you met and replace it with a much lighter vibe that I guess makes people feel safe around me.
Also don’t think I’m judging anyone… I used to own that vibe, I mean if I saw a boob of any sort you could bet that a year later I’d still be replaying it in my head and yes it would occasionally get lost and then one special day it would pop back and I’d be like ” Damn, where have you been, tonight’s gonna be a good night”.
Being More Attractive To Women
Women are much easier to approach, interact and connect with no matter their beauty or intimidation factor, and before I start this I’d like to add that I was a guy who had no social acuity (at all) and was not by any means a ladies man.
What’s it like now?
Well when I speak to women now it’s like I can cut through everything and feel their raw emotion and relate, there’s nothing between my month and my brain, I say the things that are in my head and it hasn’t failed me when sparking awesome conversations.
PS: I have a girlfriend and I can only account this to the girls I interact with on a day-to-day basis, but I’ve found even my own girlfriends attraction levels to me have gone up a good 50% (no way to actually calculate that) and as we’ve been together 5 years and live together a considerable amount of time I consider that a really healthy boost.
Side note: NoFap can be hard on your partner in the beginning, but keep going strong and eventually they will understand and become really supportive, unless they’re a waste of your time and don’t want you becoming the best version of yourself at-fear you’ll leave them behind (happens more often than you’d think).
PPS: Do women sense the whole NoFap thing? Not exactly at least not for me, but what I did notice is the vibe mentioned above goes and once that happens women are far more open and trusting even when they are complete strangers.
Looking people in the eye’s is always something I’ve had a problem with and the quickest micro power I got was the ability to look any man or woman dead in the eye and not even think about it, in fact I actually have got to the point where I have to remind myself not to make dead eye contact as it can be quite intimidating to others, and instead I use this trick and mimic the other person’s eye contact to avoid creeping them out with a solid stare.
Doesn’t sound like a life changer, does it? Well let me tell you since I started making eye contact I’ve noticed that people actually listen to what I say and I’ve also found I can connect on the deepest level with people just by making eye contact during a conversation, just think about when you make eye contact with a crush and get that wonderful boost of feelings… Well with good eye contact I find myself giving people that same high and it’s an addictive feeling to say the least.
As well I find it easier to smile at people and I’ve found that simply smiling at someone, anyone can completely change their day… Just thinking that the other day I smiled at an elderly lady and offered if she needed a hand taking her bags from the groceries to her car a few seconds away, she declined but I’ve never seen a more taken back, happy person in a long time, she couldn’t stop smiling and saying thank you.
BIG: Being Myself
I feel like ever since I was a kid I’ve always pretended to be someone I’m not and I never had a backbone, even at 18 you could have asked me for my shoes and out of having no backbone I’d have gave you them to you and then gave an Oscar performance on how the shoes didn’t even matter anyway and how you could keep them.
Now I find myself being me, I’m more straight to the point I don’t shirt around the edges, if I think something needs to be said I say it and most the time I don’t even realize that what I’ve said was a big deal, and this was just the start…
…Now when I talk crazy things come to me, I don’t prepare conversation it just flows whether it’s with a stranger or not, and the best part is that I don’t have that little voice that say’s not to say something, my body just say’s it, I can’t even take credit it’s almost like my body gets into a rhythm and stuff just comes out, stuff that’s gold and really shiny.
Not to forget I connect with people I’ve just met and build bonds of instant comfort with complete strangers, something that I thought was impossible and used to dream about, and all of this is just out of being comfortable with who I am and treating my body like it’s my awesome castle.
I no longer get that sticky brain fog I used to live with that virtually killed my productivity and made my body and mind feel sluggish.
This has obvious effects, but mainly it’s helped me work, for example, I blasted out this 10000 + word article in 2 days of work, the old me would have put this off, got over nervous, gave up and then re-started the process, finally releasing 2 months late.
I couldn’t tell you if this is down to the meditation or NoFap or a little of both, but when I look at a mountain it makes me smile, when I’m out in the sun I enjoy it in a whole new way, things like eating a good meal make me feel 100% content inside and I pause and take a moment when I see even silly stuff like a weirdly shaped cloud.
More importantly I’ve got a whole new way of looking at life and that’s this: Life is a game, with lessons in the form of experiences, some are good, and some bad, but the only way to win and move onto the next level is to learn the lesson from the experience that you’ve been given, if you do you’ll move on to more awesomeness and if you don’t it’ll keep repeating itself in reality and imagination until you get what you’re meant to learn.
New age high five I know, but I got this outlook over the past year and it’s changed my life, now when crap happens I don’t react, I study why it happened, learn from it and honestly take a second to remember it’s just an experience and I can either complain or learn, keep growing and focus on the wins not the losses.
I always had strong will power, I’ve been training since I was a teen, so it’s hard to tell if this has just happened with age but I’ve found my ability to start something and finish is at unreal levels, say I decide I’m going to train every day or not eat “x” or learn about …… I just make a mental note and once it’s agreed, it’s going to happen, as I say this might just be with age, the work I do or because I’ve committed to a few things and just have faith in myself, either way, it’s damn awesome.
Personal Level (P.E + Help For Semen Retention):
I’ve been debating leaving this out as I feel it might go a little too personal, but f*** it.
Before NoFap I used to last minutes in bed if I was lucky and if I’m honest at the start of NoFap it got worse, but then two things happened:
- There was a switch, now call this out if you will but it was almost like I started seeing my partner as a human being and instead of being like “don’t think hot thoughts” “don’t think about the pleasure”, even “pinch yourself, it may distract you from what is really happening”, I was completely there and my mind wasn’t filled with any of this, more clear and connected, in the most bizarre way possible.
2. Whenever I thought about intercourse it was always me climaxing and NoFap helped me find out that by simply changing that view and scenario that I play inside my head I’d clear the issue up, now everyone’s in different places along their journey but here’s what I did:
Whenever I thought about intercourse I’d imagine me enjoying it, not even thinking about climaxing, and while doing this I’d do reverse Kegels (as I’ll explain in a minute) as opposed to what I used to accidentally do which was a normal kegel.
Amazing Tip That Completely Cured Me: Reverse Kegels, I did them on and off for a few weeks and it is the final push in gaining full control over my ejaculation.
Extra: There are a few more bedroom benefits, that I can go into detail on, but they may be triggering or down to the mix of meditation and breathing, so tell me on Reddit or in the comments if you’d like me to go there.
Things That I’ve Added To NoFap That Make It Even More Awesome
Meditation, breathing and nofap go hand in hand and I honestly don’t believe I’d of done half the stuff I did this year without them, I hold meditation so close to my heart I actually got a tattoo to remind me to meditate every day (here’s the Lil guy):
I’m no meditation expert, I’ve done it for over a year and a half and in that time I’ve been lucky enough to meet real monks and go to multiple Buddhist temples in China and Thailand (Look at that monk, no f**ks given – I should add he told us to do that pose):
From them experiences I’ve picked up a few techniques that have really helped me deal with anxiety, over-thinking, confidence, decision making and connecting with other humans, so I’ll do my best to explain them here:
First, watch this basic meditation guide so you can learn what meditation is all about (if you don’t already know) and then I can tell you a few ways to make it easier and more effective.
Ritual Meditation (perfect for beginners and advanced):
When most people think of meditation they think being still and not thinking, or at least focusing on the breath, but I found out that loads of practicing Buddhists do ritual meditation, which my understanding of this is focusing on one task, taking your time and being mindful of your tastes, smells and other bodily sensations.
Example: When I want a deep meditation session but know my mind keeps wondering, I get my teapot, fill it with tea, then start meditation, do some music deep breaths then slowly pour it into Chinese style mugs.
Then I slowly raise it to my mouth while thinking about the warm sensations on my fingers, then take a small sip and focus on the taste and sensations and then I slowly lower it and just focus on my breath, before I repeat the process again in a few minutes.
This is basic, but some people actually make a ritual out of coffee and tea and incorporate the whole process of making, from grinding the beans to heating water, all you do is completely focus on what you’re doing and how your body is feeling.
Tea meditation explained much better by a pro here and here it is being practiced (be warned this videos is woo woo):
My normal meditation:
I do 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night and I simply sit cross-legged on my yoga mat, or in seated position with my legs on the ground, I then either have my hands on my knees (face down) or I have my hands like this, in Dhyana Mudra:
It really depends on my mood, I find knees better for concentration and Dhyana Mudra better for feeling love and gratitude.
I then set the timer on my phone and move my phone out of sight, after that I do a grounding process, then do 10 deep belly breaths, counting on the exhale and then another 10counting on the exhale, I just focus on my breath, keeping my posture semi-straight, and as Eckhart Tolle says, become the watcher and when a thought comes into my head instead of reacting to it, I just watch it and let it disappear as I come back to my breath.
There Is No Need To Do 40 Minutes Per Day: I once found this free meditation book in a hotel and it said, 3 minutes of good meditation is worth more than an hour of bad, it truly is all about the quality and not quantity, so don’t feel like you have to do 40 minutes a day, the real truth is you should do it little and often and never miss a day.
Guides on meditation + Resources:
- success meditation (Mix of affirmations, the law of attraction, meditation and breathing) – YouTube:
Here is the videos that explain the benefits to the meditation above I truly recommend watching this video it’s really life changing and can help give you the motivation to commit to the meditation above:
- Meditation for Beginners – ZenHabits one of the greatest teachers I’ve found.
- How to Ground and Center – WikiHow
- The Skeptic’s Guide To Meditation – Huffington Post Infographic
PS: Anything from a YouTuber called Koi Fresco is super sound and really revolutionary for fellow inner self-explorers.
Mindfulness, is the key to meditation, but it comes in more forms, for example the ultimate goal for most monks, besides enlightenment, is to be mindful and present all the time, now this is a goal that takes discipline, time and dedication to reach, and is something that I’ve only experienced briefly in times of pushing my fears and boundaries to the limit.
Even though it would be beautiful to stay mindful 24/7 I have found an amazing amount of power in simply going on a mindful walk, I just open the door whenever I feel a little bogged down with life and get that feeling of having loads of weight on my chest, I then take some deep breaths, cup my hands behind me (like a weirdo) and go on a slow walk, now I have a semi quite walking track and here’s what I do:
I walk as slow as I can while thinking about all the sensations in my feet and in my lungs, etc, I then take a good look around and just admire the view, I’m lucky and have mountains, but even when I’m in a city or in my hometown Essex (which isn’t the prettiest place), I look at buildings, grass, people, birds, anything, and just take a moment to really appreciate what’s around me.
Don’t need to do it every day, but it’s something that really helps clear my mind especially when those urges hit hard.
Here’s some guides on Mindfulness including a wicked infographic:
- The Mindfulness Guide for the Super Busy: How to Live Life to the Fullest – Another awesome guide from ZenHabits
- Infographic: Sam the Sloth’s Guide to Mindfulness
I once read a book on Flow (Flow The Psychology of Optimal Experience – Affiliate Link) and although it’s not as easy to harness as meditation and comes with different benefits, it is something lots of us can do right now.
I’ll explain a time you may have felt flow meditation, have you ever popped a song on and for hours you were lost listening to music with not a single thought going through your head? Maybe you once sat down to do some writing or another type of job and you got sucked straight into it to the point the feeling of hunger went, all your distractions disappeared and all that mattered was the task you were doing?
Well that’s flow and if you find it hard to sit still and meditate try popping on some music, sitting in a meditation pose and just listen, really listen, don’t think, don’t even sing, just listen, this can leave your whole body with waves of happiness sensations, especially when you pop on some good old classical.
I was recently watching a new Russell Brand interview on Jonathan Ross and he said… Actually wait a second here’s the video it’s the time 3:35:
Update: The video was taken down and I can no longer find it 🙁
And It’s true, we all need grounding activities, things like gardening, hiking, mountain biking, going to the beach, having a few plants you look after in your house, feeding birds, having an animal, dancing and singing (I sometimes just sit for hours learning rap lyrics), cooking food, learning an instrument (I’m on ukulele and piano, sucking at both but loving every second), just having things like this in your life lead to a great foundation of happiness.
How Many Times Should You Meditate?
Meditation is like fitness if you stop you lose all the benefits, so I’d personally meditate every day without one day off, start with a five-minute session and if you have any questions, go and check out this Reddit basically all your meditation questions are right there.
I do breathing exercises before bed while I’m trying to get to sleep and whenever I have something important and nerve-racking on the horizon.
Let me break this down quickly, I do three types of breathing all with the focus on calming myself and gaining control and here are the types:
Rhythmic breathing: This one is simple and I use it after an intense workout to get my heart rate down and whenever I get butterflies or the nervous adrenaline feeling.
Doesn’t get much simple, just inhale for 5 minutes, exhale for 5 minutes, try it now, do two – three minutes worth and see how you feel after.
You can also try this video as it’s the same principle but a little more relaxing to watch:
Pranayam: I do breath of fire by Adrian (if you haven’t seen her, you should definitely check her out):
I do this after meditation, not every time usually just when I’ve got something big coming up.
This knocks me out like a light, I simply inhale for 5 seconds and hold for 1 – 5 seconds (usually 3), then I exhale for 5 seconds and hold for the same time I did on the inhale. Do this 10 – 15 times while trying to get to sleep and you’ll crash out, it can also be used to turn your adrenal reflex off throughout the day, so if you ever feel really stressed, anxiety filled, etc, just do 5 of these.
Tight Chest: The last breathing exercise I’ve started doing is deep chest breathing, instead of inhaling into the belly like you would with the exercises above, you inhale into the chest, this is what I use when I have that heavy feeling in my chest, usually brought on by stress.
Dudes and dudettes, here’s the supplements I take that have helped me stay focused and healthy throughout the past year.
- Good quality multivitamin
- Green tea (one cup every day, try getting loose leaf tea and adding a little cold water to the leafs before adding the boiling water, gives a higher caffeine boost)
- Coffee (if you haven’t already, try getting a cheap grinder, a cafeteria and some coffee beans and see how amazing the coffee makes you feel, makes doing hard work much easier).
- Sunlight 15 minutes direct per day or take vitamin D (usually in a multivitamin).
Probiotic: I’ve started taking probiotics and I’d highly recommend for this reason: I recently went to china and as a vegan there was no food and as a result of being an idiot and not just eating (something I did when in Thailand) I instead lived on average of one bowl of rice and a plate of greens if I was lucky per day (mixed with 2 cliffs protein bar), as a result I got really skinny (The first two pictures on the before are the ones I’m talking about):
The far left is 5 months before, then you have china where I went under 8 stone and then in the last pic I’m around 10 – 11 stone and it was taken yesterday, without any prep, lighting or pre workout (excluding some pushups).
When I got home I couldn’t eat anything without getting a bad belly, I actually throw up for the first time in 13 years, my mood got really bad and after doing some research I found this article on how biotics and how they alter your mood.
Since then I built up the good biotics by adding different supplements (the latest one is going to be Kombucha tea) and as a result, I feel much more happy and I’m by far stronger than I’ve been in a long time and have a much easier time eating complex foods.
If you want to learn a little more about the supplements I take, go and check out my stack page and feel free to ask any questions.
I’ll be honest I used to do yoga twice every day (excluding Saturday), but after getting back from Holiday I’ve found myself submitting to the addiction that is overworking and I’ve neglected yoga, but this has just reminded me how important it is, so I’m kicking tomorrow off with a full workout.
Why I used Yoga
When I started NoFap I had so much excess energy that felt trapped, it was almost as if It would only release if I ejaculated and on the first few weeks I remember coasting myself close to orgasm using my mind and even sitting there just debating giving it all in, now before the almost year no fap I did actually relapse, I can’t remember how many days in, but it was hard-reset style and I believe it was over two weeks and I let the excess energy get to me and I ended up running a silly experiment, basically it was my minds way of trying to justify masturbation, I decide to masturbate every day for x amount of days (think it was 18) and by the time I got to day 10 I want to say, I was feeling sad, had brain fog like never before and just felt sick with myself, plus I had a real sense of guilt as I’d just come off the nofap reset.
Now, I actually had a video of this, I’ve cut out the blog as it’s no longer active or around, but I’ve not finished re-editing it as it’s quite a boring video, so remind me and I’ll upload it in the next week so you can see the experiment:
It’s actually crazy this was finished on the 28th of Dec and straight after I started this NoFap.
PS: This original video got like 20 views, haha.
Where Does Yoga Come Into This?
Other than feeling amazing and leaving me refreshed, relaxed and happy yoga also helped me deal with unblocking my sexual energy and helped me convert, I do still get urges, but yoga has taught me how to repurpose that energy and break through some of them blockages in my body.
I used to do this energizing morning sequence every morning:
But you could start with a simple beginner workout, (yoga with Adrian is as good as it gets without going to a class):
I’d also recommend this great healing and meditation for beginners (one of my favourites):
Again yoga’s benefits are very similar to all the other things we’ve talked about, but the one difference is doing even one Yoga practice a month can really clear the cobwebs and the anxiety and stress that has gone unnoticed, even my fears get a good clean when I have a good yoga practice.
Before going anywhere I really recommend getting an audio book called The UltraMind Solution (affiliate link) by Mark Hyman, it goes into amazing detail about how food affects the mind and causes anxiety, depression, A.D.D and numerous other mental health issues, all while giving highly actable advice and a full list of must eat foods and supplements to help detox the brain and body from bad toxins.
The only downside of the book is that if you were to take all the advice the bill would be in the $400 + per month range, but that’s only down to the supplements you need and I’ve found you can replace all of that with one good multivit, omega-3 supplement and a probiotic, mixed with a few green smooths and spice shoots to help detox your body and then just take the diet advice he gives and you’ll feel out of this world.
Update: I did a full article on my exact diet to boost mind, body and energy, that includes a 3-week diet plan.
Dopamine and Seratoning Advice
Before I go any further let me explain what these awesome sounding things are:
- Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in your brain and is responsible for feeling related to joy, happiness, love, motivation and pleasure and when boosted it makes you feel really content (my experiences).
- Seratoning is also a neurotransmitter and helps regulate irritability, impulse, obsession, memory and mood, all stuff that’s key when trying to keep to something like NoFap or meditation.
Now both of these neurotransmitters can be boosted with certain foods, exercise, meditation, nofapping and supplements and as we touch on all them things in this article I’ll focus this part sole on food, so here’s what you should be eating:
I’ve read that people who’re low on dopamine involve themselves in more self-destructive behaviors like violence, drama, s**, p**n, drugs, alcohol, even excessive internet use, in order to get dopamine boosts.
There’s a really awesome article I read on increasing dopamine, that talks about the effects and how mice who were dopamine-starved stopped having the motivation to eat and starved to death. So if you’re struggling to even have the motivation to start NoFap or anything for that matter this could be a reason why.
Here’s a list of dopamine boosting foods:
- Dark Chocolate
- Green Vegetables
- L-theanine (which is in green tea, but can also be taken as a supplement with coffee for anxiety, brain power and focus).
- Coffee (I only try to drink coffee beans, but right now I’m out so I’m on instant D:)
Here’s a list of articles that has more dopamine releasing and boosting foods:
- 8 Natural Dopamine Boosters to Overcome Depression – universityhealthnews.com
- How to Increase Dopamine Naturally – BeBrainFit.com
Seratoning high foods cannot actually pass the brain-body barrier and can’t be translated into directly into Serotonin, but eating a healthy diet that satisfies you, will make it a whole lot easier for the other components, like fitness, meditation, and supplements to boost serotonin.
That being said there are loads of foods that promote the release of Serotonin and here’s what they are:
- Spice shots that include Turmeric and Ginger
Video Of Me: This was done on a blog that tanked, but the video is really awesome and I still take these shots now!
- Dark Chocolate 80% +
- Green Tea
- Fermented foods (especially kombucha tea)
- Chia and Linseeds.
- Honey (make sure it’s real and that from outside the E.U if you’re British as there’s fake honey floating about).
- Avocados (The dream food)
There’s loads more and here are some of the articles I used to help me add serotonin releasing foods:
- Serotonin Releasing Foods That Make You Happy – BeWellBuzz
- Foods That Fight Winter Depression – WebDB
Tip: If you start eating lots of these it would also help to bump up your protein intake, because protein helps produce more serotonin.
Big Tip: Drink tons of water every day, you should wake up with a nice big glass, then keep drinking throughout the day. You wouldn’t believe the power of being hydrated, give it a go for a week, measure out 3 litres of water and drink it every day and feel free to mix it up with tea, coffee, fresh juice, etc.
Update: I did a full guide on my at-home calisthenic fitness routine (Includes a 3-week workout plan), where I dive deeper into my fitness. I also did a review of the fitness program I use, with transformation pictures.
I don’t want to spend too long yammering on about fitness but it’s another thing I highly recommend while NotFapping, it clears my mind, stops my urges and compliments most of the nofap power list as you probably know.
I’ve also found my testosterone has gone up a noticeable amount and a really great way to use that extra energy that will leave you feeling awesome about yourself is to do one of these MMA workouts a few times per week, I do it on top of my Calisthenics workouts and I’ve never felt better:
This one’s a little harder, but a really solid full body workout:
They don’t take hours and I’m in control of the rounds and when all is said and done the first time you do this you probably won’t be able to throw a punch for a week, haha. But it really does re-purpose some of the extra time and energy you’ll have from not masturbating and quitting p**n.
Two Extra Videos:
The first is breathing into the balls and it’s a great way to reconnect with yourself, I won’t go into all the benefits but here’s how to do it:
Second video is again by Elliot and it’s a Bio-Energize workout perfect for warming up, blasting your body with energy and grounding yourself, I also find this really primal:
Try this out and tell me how you feel after.
How I Didn’t Fap For A Year
Started Really Slow
All the cool things I do now were a result of starting really slow. If I’d of becoming a vegan, started nofap, meditation and all the other stuff in this list in a matter of weeks I would not be here right now, I’d have given up everything within the first month or as soon as my schedule got a little crazy.
Instead I was lucky enough to find each thing on its own and incorporate it into my life slowly, which gave me time to build the habit, so if you’re reading this and wanting to get started, pick the thing that resonates the most with you, build yourself up and once you’re happy and been doing it for a month then add the next part, then the next part, and so on.
How would I start?
- Diet: You gain will power through eating great healthy food and drinking lots of water.
- Meditation: The most important thing I do.
- Fitness: Start running, build a little routine, this is great for building the willpower muscle in your brain.
- NoFap: Now at this point, you’ve got a little more control over your mind, have a strong diet that’s hopefully making you happier and have a good release that is fitness.
Then at this point you can add Yoga and other various things to your routine, again this is just how I go about things, you may be different and be able to chuck it all in the mixer at once with passable results.
You need to have someone to look up to, as I mentioned I don’t have tons of friends (working on it) but just look at Reddit, look at the nofap founder, look at people who are what you expire to be and whenever you feel like slipping just think, what would they do?
We all need to have models of people we want to be and this has been the greatest tool I’ve used in helping me stay on the straight and narrow, now as lame as they may be to you here’s my role model list:
- Tyler from RSD (you either hate or love him but he turned me onto meditation and for that I own him a lot, plus his talks hit me on a level like no other).
- Russell Brand (I’ve always loved his energy).
- Joe Rogan (He’s done a really motivational video that I actually found on Reddit while writing this).
- Duncan Trussell (One of the soundest spiritual guys on this planet in my eyes).
Course you have the people like Elon Musk and Bill Gates but I personally don’t relate to them on that deep level that allows me to ask myself, would they do this or that.
I’d love to hear who you look up to so please pop it in the comments.
Going Out In The Sun
I can’t stress the importance of going outside enough when rebooting or doing nofap, whether you chuck some good tunes on and go for a run, walk or cycle you need to be getting out daily…
…One reason is down to Vitamin D which alone can make you feel fantastic, look at it this way, we’re not meant to be inside all day, we’re still designed to be in the outdoors soaking it all up.
Now it’s winter right now, so I take a vitamin d to make up for the sun, but I still make an active effort to go out once a day without it being work related.
Fill Your Time Up
I had an extra hour + per day to do anything I wanted and I decided to fill it with listening to audiobooks, learning keyboard and ukulele (ukulele is the *ish for people who want an easy instrument to play something easy), studying my diet and what works best for me, I studied money making a lot deeper and made cooking a passion, these are all things anyone can do I mean…
…You can get a cheap keyboard on Amazon for $60 and use YouTube to learn some of your favorite songs.
…You can buy some veg, spices, and rice and learn how to make food for less than $4.
…You can grab an audiobook off audible for $7 per month or go on YouTube and see if it’s been leaked.
…You can learn money making a million and one ways.
These are all things that make your life more fun, exciting and enjoyable, plus they make you a catch…
…I don’t care if you’re a man or women if you can cook an awesome meal, play a little beat on piano or ukulele, teach me something you’ve learned in a cool book and/or take care of yourself financially or at least are in the process of doing so, you’re hot as F and a catch as both a friend and a partner.
OMG That Came Out Wrong: Not saying I’m a catch at all, I’m just saying that if you take the time you have from not Fapping you can invest it into stuff that makes life more interesting for you and everyone around you.
Do Ground Breaking Stuff Often
Whether it’s going on a hike, going camping, mountain biking or just going to the forest for a few hours you’ll be amazed at how it makes you feel. I’d say most of the times were everything has seemed clear, all making sense and worth-while has been while I’m accomplishing something usually outdoors.
I know we don’t all have the cash and the time to go and take a bike into the woods or go on a 6 hour hike, but we do have the power to book a marathon and get training, to explore the city or town we live in or even join a gym, boxing club or dance studio, and right now you might be too awkward to do any of these things and that’s the first step, you improve yourself using things like nofap, build a core confidence and then take that big scary jump that always turns out to be easy peasy after it’s complete and start going after some of your passions.
What Ground Breaking Stuff Am I Doing?
Right now I’m:
- Training for a marathon that’s in January in a place called Murcia.
- Training to walk the Camino trail in Easter which is 800km in total (takes 20ish days at the top level).
- Going to walk to the top of a natural park that’s near my house.
- Starting a Yoga/Meditation class
- Starting a boxing club
Setting The Perfect Goals
What do you want to get out of nofap and your self-improvement trip? Is it to make money? Pickup women/men? Find a Wife/Husband? Become more confidence? Be able to give more? No matter what your reasons are, write them down, repeat them to yourself every day and keep track of your progress.
When times get tough you’ll be able to look back at an old note you write yourself a year ago and feel bloody amazing when you see you’ve accomplished most of the stuff on your list, this is the kind of stuff that keeps me from going back when times get tough.
Higher – Middle – Lower Versions Of Yourself
I once got a bit of advice from an RSD tyler video can’t remember which one but it changed my life straight out, what he said is when creating goals you need to appeal to all versions of yourself.
- A Higher version of yourself wants you to change the world, wants to help people and give to charity.
- Middle version of yourself wants to run a successful company, hire awesome people, get an amazing partner
- Lower version of yourself wants to f**k bitches, party, pull up in a Ferrari outside your old school, post pictures on Facebook of the money you have, etc.
Your job is to find goals that speak to each one of these levels, so no matter what one you’re in on any given day, there will still be a reason to continue, so if your goal was to build a business you could easily tick all the boxes:
Higher self can give more to charity and have more resources to help others, plus have the luxury of not being worried about rent, so you’ll be able to do more meditation, yoga, etc.
Medium self can get respect, surround themselves with awesome people by hiring the best, get an amazing personal trainer and buy all the healthiest foods and supplements to look and feel awesome.
Low self can buy that Lambo, post about it on Facebook, use it to gain VIP entry and buy trips to crazy party places.
Now even though most people view the lower self as bad and egotistical and I’d argue that it is, we all have days where we fall victim to it, so instead pretending to be higher than that part of yourself and kid yourself that you’ll never go there it’s best to at least plan, so when you are there you are still fully motivated, excited and ready to rubble.
Where I’m At With Urges
I’m not going to lie I’ve been through some times where I’ve been tempted and in honesty the closer I get to the year the harder it gets, my head gets filled with temptations a little more often, things I can’t even explain, but the truth is I can’t write about it unless I’m right there feeling the urges and right now I’m not, in truth when I really think about it after the 6 month mark triggers stopped affecting me and the urge to masturbate went, but…
…The real issue I have is with the mind and playing s**ual things on repeat, I’ve learned to control it with meditation, but occasionally it happens, maybe a little more than I’d like to admit, but I’m still learning and any advice you have please I’d love to see in the comments.
Why Haven’t I Relapsed Yet?
I think there are loads of reasons, one is that I’ve got a supportive girlfriend, and that plays a big part, also the fact I keep moving forward or at least am constantly trying to, and course I have the occasional slump where I achieve nothing, feel bad and almost give up, but then I think what is the price I’ll pay? Go back to the life I had before?
To me it feels like quitting self-employment or a job you love to go and work for someone you hate for 20 extra bucks per week, yes I get that bit of extra pleasure (the $20), but that pleasure goes (just like the $20) and what is left in my case is an occasional rush of pleasure a few times per week, meet with all the negatives.
Will I Ever Masturbate Again?
You know when I first started this I’d of said NO, but I’ve learned that things happen, change and go wrong all the time and I’d hate to carry the weight of telling everyone it will never happen, because no one can say never and who knows, I could lose everything and hit a low point, just like everyone else can, but I will say this:
No matter what happens tomorrow, today I’m going hard and keeping the fact I owe my biggest success to NoFap, meditation and all the other self-improvement activities I involve myself in.
So with that being said I’m still 100% committed to not fapping.
Accidentally Seeing Triggering Material
Occasionally you’ll go on Twitter or Tumblr and bam see some highly triggering pictures, I’ve learned to not beat myself up about it, I just scroll passed like a see nothing and if it gets in my head I don’t try to fight it as it makes it worse for me, I just change my focus and if it doesn’t help I just do a mix of the things below.
How I Deal With Urges
One of the easiest ways I reset my mind when the urges hit hard is by going on a nice run or doing a workout, this releases dopamine and serotonin and highers my happiness and usually allows me to see clearly why I’m doing what I’m doing.
As I mentioned above, I also had a boost of testosterone and when you mix that with an MMA, Boxing, CrossFit or Calisthenics workout you’re left feeling truly amazing, confident and just all round happy.
Don’t Allow Myself
I imagine losing all the benefits I’ve worked for the second I masturbate, now I have no idea if that’s true as I’ve not done it, but the fear of going back to the old me is scary enough to put me off trying.
Have A Cold Shower
For 9 Months I only took cold showers (excluding the weekend where I had a bath) and nothing is more jarring, it’s a great way to clear the mind and it also builds immunity, helps repair muscles and can help with sleep, plus it;s a way ti train the mind to do something it doesn’t want too.
Listen To Music
Sometimes every now and then I’ll be hit with urges and everything inside me is saying, think about crazy fantasies, one hot picture of a girl won’t matter, and in these moments I can find it really hard to snap out of it, and I can’t always go running, have a shower or go to the gym, so instead I load my favorite music up and I listen away, it’s a real sure fire way to take my mind off everything.
Tip: Music is something I love, but you may get the same results reading/listening to a book, watching a YouTube video, listening to a podcast, so find what suits you the best.
Sleep On It
I have a rule for most of the most important practices I do in my life and that’s whenever I’m debating quitting I sleep on it and see how I feel the next morning. Sleep is the greatest reset of all and being tired can make anyone make really bad decisions, so if you’re going to slip, let yourself at least have a good nights sleep and think about it with a clearer mind the next morning.
Go On The NoFap Reddit
Recently I was feeling a little low, I got back from traveling and I’ve found it hard to get back into a rhythm, plus I’ve changed a lot of the work I do so there have been some big learning curves and through this I doubted myself and had a moment where I thought should I stop this? In that time I jumped on Reddit and was flooded with the reasons why I started in the beginning and instantly all doubt left me.
When you’re low jump on Reddit.
Get An Accountability Partner
Basically what you do is use Reddit, NoFap Forum, or your group of friends and find someone who’s also doing nofap, you then Skype, email and converse in any way you want and keep each other updated on your progress, if one day gets a little hard you just hit your buddy up and they’ll pick you up and help motivate you.
I didn’t do this and it’s something I wish I had done as it could have really helped during this journey, but from now I am going to try my best to find an accountability partner.
PS: If someone could explain this better post a comment and I’ll update it.
PPS: I need an accountability partner message me! 🙂
The Negative I’ve Found With NoFap (And Why It Doesn’t Matter)
First, let me say I have a girlfriend, so I’m going to speak about how it may effect single guys and then how it affects me, second this might be a little triggering at the start.
There’s a power when it comes to looking for a girlfriend and that power is not being needy and being abundant and not really needing anyone for anything (even though you really do).
You want a girl to think “wow he choose me”, not “he needs me” and sometimes I think it’s hard to not have that vibe when you’ve got more to lose than the average guy because if you don’t get laid you can’t just go home and masturbate.
Same goes for guys in relationships, I’ve found I can sometimes be needy and you never really want to be like a dog and treated for good behavior with s**, but here’s my whole take on this…
Most stuff in life has pro’s and con’s and from what I’ve experienced I’d rather feel a little sexually frustrated here and there and feel amazing about myself, than be giving myself that sweet moment of pleasure in exchange for feeling the guilt and mind glue that follow as I wipe my c*m filled belly button clean with a bit of tissue.
But that’s just me…
…Sorry I had to go there with the c*m belly button, it was my signature back in the days.
What You Should Do?
You need to ask yourself what you really want and see if what you’re looking for is going to be helped with NoFap.
You see there have been things in my life I’ve really wanted to do, but they just didn’t resonate with me so I gave up and most the time just toyed with the idea, so unless you’re just toying with the glamour of nofap you should really take some time and see if what everyone has got from NoFap sounds like something you need and resonate with, and then if it doesn’t waste time playing with the idea, dive in head first and don’t stop swimming till you’ve reached the end.
Look I don’t think anyone could have made me start NoFap, meditation, yoga, breathing, even fitness for that matter unless I was ready, and most of these things I toyed with a lot when I was 13 – 16, but no matter what I just didn’t have any commitment to them, and I didn’t till I had a few really heartbreaking experiences in my life, the kind with moments of crying every day for weeks till the point I just couldn’t take it and decided to build that willpower muscle as it was less painful than what I was experiencing.
Also remember that the world is yours to go and grab and there are some really awesome people out there who know way more than me, so go and study, ask questions and no matter what don’t let people who give you crap or reply to your ask with anger put you off asking and looking for feedback, I did this and it’s created loads of issues and learning curves in my life. 🙂
Isn’t Masturbation Healthy Though?
I already have a feeling what may happen with this article, I get people read this out of context and they think I’m some weird man who’s trying to make everyone stop masturbation, and that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’m just speaking about what happened to me, I’m being completely honest and as someone who masturbated for years prior to NoFap I’d have no ground to stand on by telling people to do anything a certain way, we all need to explore and see what works best for us, because masturbation has different side effects for everyone, some good, some really bad, it’s down to you to test and be completely honest with yourself on the effects it has on you.
Are they good? Are they healthy? What do you think?
I don’t want to go all guru hippy on you and re-hash some old overused motivational lines, but here I go anyway…
You need to love yourself, I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you believe in or what gender you are, because I know you’ve got something awesome inside and I bet you feel it? If you didn’t you wouldn’t be here because only people who’re aware of what they can become given a crap about NoFap and self-improvement.
So don’t beat yourself up when you mess up or meet people who judge, hate or are mean to you, just jump up,get back on your horse (or your animal of choice, mines actually a dog), and remember as long as you learn from it, it’s always a win.
Don’t Be Afraid
People are and can be extremely hurtful when you make the big changes in your life, even people like your mum, dad, siblings, girlfriends/boyfriends and best friends can show sides to themselves that you didn’t know they had.
I don’t know where you are in your journey, but I can tell you this, when I first started nofap my girlfriend wasn’t supportive, she actually laughed at the idea, same happened when I started meditating, she used to get frustrated when I’d disappear for 20 minutes 2 times a day.
Same goes for my dad, after almost a year he still can’t except the fact I’m vegan and don’t drink (only red wine here and there) and constantly brings up how nice it would be to be able to have a beer with me, he then talks about the old days when we used to eat burgers together and glamorizes it to the point anyone could see it’s BS.
At the start this made everything harder, but I ignored them and now my dad for the first time ever has true respect for me, so does my girlfriend, honestly she’s the most supportive person in my life, as well as my mum.
Even though they still complain sometimes they respect me and let me go for it, whereas before they would be so resistant to anything that changed who I was.
So ignore your friends, family, the adult industry and any news outlets who tell you it’s rubbish and instead learn wherever there’s this resistance, there’s growth, so GO FOR IT, BROTHER!
What If You Still Want To Fap? (Trigger Warning)
I think that it’s an amazing and extremely healthy to complete a NoFap rebot and this doesn’t mean you have to not masturbate for the rest of your life, it just means reset yourself for a whole month. This allows you to really see where you are and whether you need to continue down the nofap road and I’d imagine it will help to give you some of them magic powers I mentioned above.
Now as I know this isn’t going to be for everyone and some will go back to masturbation, but let me at least use science to help you do it in the healthiest possible way:
Take the right supplements:
Grab a good Zinc supplement as it will help you replace the things you lost in your ejaculation, take a good quality protein supplement (I recommend hemp protein) and a multivit wouldn’t hurt.
both come packing loads of health benefits, plus raise sex drive massively.
Drink, caffeine + L-Theanine (the substance found in green tea) together to remove brain fog and the sleepy feeling over masturbation can give you.
Moderate your masturbation
Bring it down to once per week and make it an experience, take your time and avoid quickly banging one out as it creates bad sexual habits that can cause P.E.
Plus try masturbating without stimulating yourself with crazy imagination scenarios as this helps stop connection of sex and imagination which can again cause P.E.
Cut P**n Watching Out
P**n isn’t healthy I don’t care what anyone says, so please don’t listen to those articles out there, they’re made either by people who have investments in the adult industry or by bloggers and do you have any idea how easy it is to start a blog? Honesty? I’ve done it, this blog took me a few days to make without any code all by myself. :O Shocking stuff, so don’t believe any case study on how porn may be good for your brain.
I haven’t gone into much detail on my thoughts on Porn during this because far smarter people have explained it way better than I ever could, but just so you know I’m more against porn watching, than masturbation
Do A Reboot
I believe there’s been more than a few nofappers who gave themselves a full 30 day reboot and then continued masturbating but followed the above, no porn, moderation and supplement and diet control, so don’t feel like you have to do it forever, just give yourself a break so you can fix the damage that may have been caused by the rubbish that’s been shoved into your head.
The Right And Wrong Way To Masturbate
I’m not sure because I never got a chance to test this, but if you want to keep masturbating you could test ways to get the powers without NoFap, I’d recommend using masturbation in a different way, try using it as a relaxing ritual and try jerking off without thinking about people you actually know on a deep level as I think they can sense it when you next met.
Funny Story: When I used to masturbate I found that whenever I masturbated about a girl I liked (Had a chance with) she’d instantly find me unattractive, don’t have a clue if this was down to being in my own head, or that the creepy vibe I put out after was just too much for the ladies to handle.
What The Future Of My NoFap Journey Looks Like
My next step is to try semen retention, but before I go near that I’m doing lots of research and having a full body check up, nutrition test (testosterone and other hormones will be tested) and getting multiple blood tests, then I’m going to start monitoring the effects to see what really changes on a biological level as that’s something I wish I’d done with NoFap.
I’m not sure how I’ll put this out into the world, maybe it’s a video diary? Maybe it’s an article that gets updated, maybe it’s a Reddit post? Tell me how you’d like it and I’ll make it happen.
Contributing To This Article:
I’m one guy and I’ve done my best to explain exactly what’s been going on throughout this whole experience, but I know there’s things I’ve missed and parts were I’m not the best person to explain, so if you have any part you’d like to add or re-write, maybe you’ve got a few things that help you deal with urges, even a whole new category, leave a comment of the text, or send me an email of the text and I’ll pop it in and leave a link to your blog, social media or Reddit profile. your experience could help me and loads of other people so please don’t be afraid, just send it in.
Your experience could help me and loads of other people so please don’t be afraid, just send it in, also don’t feel bad about saying “Oli, I want to change that as it’s got to much fluff” my ego doesn’t matter, I’d rather you go to town on this and help me make it something that can actually help people, than stay quite and it just becomes another article out in the millions.I just want to create something that will actually help others so .
Making New Buddies
Dudes and Dudettes, I just found the Reddit nofap community and they’re some of the sweetest guys and girls out there, if you need help go over and say hello, it took me almost a year to and I wish I had done it sooner.
Signing Off: I mean this from the heart if you want to message someone for a chat, some help or just to make friend who can keep you accountable, comment below and I’ll send you over my email, Skype, Steam Username whatever you like, I’d really appreciate an accountability partner so you’d be helping me out too…